I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
