he looks like a really good dad on facebook
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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