Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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