He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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