i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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