Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
