addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
