I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
