I feel like abortions should bother me more
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
did you just send me my own nude
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
