I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
