dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
