just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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