And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
