his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize