i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
