3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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