Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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