Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
