I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize