Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
