this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
