Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*