I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
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I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
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Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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