So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize