Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sorry about my life...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
