Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
