Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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