can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
