Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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