omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Two words: nipple clamps
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