Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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