Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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