I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
