Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just had sex on a roof
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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