Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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