Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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