Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
