She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
