His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
