This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
