Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
