just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
His nipple licking is glorious
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