Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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