i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
