That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I forget how to act sober
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
