And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
there is puke in my bra ... again
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
