Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
where am i from again
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
