Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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