Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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