Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
