Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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