Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
