Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize