she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
