How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
