i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize