We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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