did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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