we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
