Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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