**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
